a day of rest

The Sabbath is suppose to be a day of rest.  Mine usually is not.  Sometimes they are more work than any other day of the week. 

I'm not sure why, but it seems the kids are grumpier on Sundays.  In turn, I am grumpier.  I don't want to be.  I don't want to lose my patience on the 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th time to take a child out of sacrament meeting.  I don't want to lose my cool, when my 5  year old blatently disobeys.  I don't want to feel frustrated when another child tells me he thinks he's going to throw up while we're sitting in the church pew. I don't want to angrily take away the new birthday toys of a strong willed child, throwing a fit.

But I did all those things today.

It's not that I had to walk in and out of the chapel 5 times, or discipline a disobedient child, or nurse a sick baby that leaves me feeling defeated at the end of the day.  It's the disappointment in myself that I did not combat these things with compassion and love.  Instead I let annoyance and anger take over.  And for that I am ashamed.

At the end of the day I want my children to feel loved.  So I took some time to cool off.  I went to lay down with Lu who had been banished to her bed for the night.  Told her I loved her, kissed her goodnight, and vowed to have a better day tomorrow.