people vs things

When we ask someone what they value more: people or things, the spoken response is almost always "people".  But then I am always surprised when their actions speak otherwise.  I especially notice this when someone I love picks a thing over me.  It stings.  It makes my stomach ache and my heart weep.  I am offended.  But mostly I am disappointed.  Disappointed that someone I love chose IT over ME.  That things won out.  That I was not valued enough.  Then the question begs: Am I worthy enough to be valued?  Logically I know that I am of value.  That it is the person choosing things over people that are to blame.  But it still leaves me wondering.  Like a child who wonders if it was her fault that her parents divorced.  As she grows older, she knows the answer.  That it's not her, it's them.  But even as an adult the doubt lingers.  Could she have been better behaved, or smarter, or sweeter?  Would it have helped?  The answer is no.  Always no.  And yet, the question remains in her heart for a lifetime.

And then the real question comes.  "What would I have done in the same situation?"  And the real answer follows.  Thankfully I can often say "no",  and I can be confident that I would have chosen them over the thing.  But there are times when the truth is not so pretty, or so certain.  My integrity wavers and I don't always choose the noble or "right" way.  That's when the full circle moment happens.  Who have I hurt in my quest for things?  Who has felt the ache in their stomach and weeping in their heart because of my choices?  Who have I offended?