Like most people, my life is broken into different parts. Childhood and adulthood. Pre-marriage and after matrimony. Life before children and life during parenthood. As a working woman and as a stay-at-home-mom. So rather than fight it, I'll write within the “parts” of my existence.
Childhood was...challenging, fun, happy and sad. Living out two lives, one with my father's family and one with my mother's family, gave me many opportunities to try and figure out who I was. Learning to be me, was hard. For many years I was one person at Mom's and a different person at Dad's.
Living on a working Apple Ranch in Round Mountain, CA my dad taught me the value of work. From a young age, working in the orchards was expected, and for the most part enjoyed. My dad remarried when I was five, and I inherited a new sister and step-mother. And then a few years later, along came three more brothers, bringing our Brady Bunch family to a total of 7 children; five boys and two girls. Blending us all together to try and make a happy family was...challenging. At times it worked, and we felt united, at other times it was disastrous. Spending 2nd through 5th grade living with my father's family was both rewarding and exhausting.
Upon entering middle school, I transferred homes to live with my mother, in Redding, CA. Here I too learned different lessons that helped shape me into who I am. I went from a tiny mountain community school of 20 per grade, to a large middle school of 300 per grade. Where did I fit in? My mother encouraged me to participate in music and sports, which led to making new friends and soon, enjoying my new independence. For the most part I was now an “only child” (except for when my two older brothers joined me on the weekends and when I spent other weekends and holidays with my dad), which was a far cry from being the middle child of 7. I continued to participate in as many activities as I could; choir, basketball, track and field, and student government were among my favorites. Nearing the end of my middle school years, my mother remarried, along with my new step-father I gained another step brother and sister. Unfortunately it was a union that I did not adjust to well. Through the end of my middle school years and through high school I learned that school was my solace. It was where I could escape. I piled on more activities and sports and learned to spend a lot of time with friends. On the weekends I spent with my father, I worked at the movie theater our family owned in Fall River Mills. I learned to be resilient and independent. I learned to make the best of an unpleasant situation and focus on the good in my life. After a little experimentation I quickly learned, that faith in God and hard work, was a better recipe for changing my circumstances than parties and drugs. My mother divorced her second husband. End of sob story.
I graduated from high school and spent a year at Shasta College taking a little of this and that, not knowing what I wanted to do or become. I spent a lot of time at school, working various jobs (restaurant, elderly care and childcare) and spending time with my friends, most of whom I met through church and the Institute of Religion near the college. Shortly after starting college I was introduced to an amazing man. We began courting. Even though he lived in Arizona where he attended Arizona State University, we managed a long distance relationship.
At 18 years old, I married Quinn Lowry and moved with him to Arizona where we both attended school. I attended Mesa Community College and he continued at ASU. Finally my life was quiet. My husband and I could live how we believed with out the “noise” of my childhood. Moving a far distance from my childhood family gave me time to focus on my new little family. I worked during the day as an office manager for an architecture firm in Scottsdale, AZ and went to school at night. On Sundays I taught Sunday School lessons young children at church. After about two years in the Phoenix area, Quinn graduated, and we moved to Salt Lake City, UT where he was accepted into the University of Utah's Graduate School of Architecture. We lived on campus in the old, run-down married student housing. We both searched for work and I soon found a fantastic job at the University of Utah Hospital where I worked as the Executive Secretary for the Operating Room Department. Doing payroll, HR, organizing events and getting to know the 130 employees in our department was a treat. I also enjoyed being in the hospital environment working with all different people with one common purpose; to provide excellent care to each and every patient. Along with working at the UofU I taught lessons to the Relief Society (women's organization) once a month at church. I also enrolled in community based classes, taking guitar lessons, floral arrangement and cake decorating. We had decided that because we were now living in a new state and paying out of state tuition, that I would put my schooling on hold while Quinn finished his masters degree. We grew to love the Salt Lake Valley and all the other couples and families that lived in student housing with us.
Two years past and we left Salt Lake City and headed home to Redding, CA. Having spent several years away from my family, I learned to value them and appreciate the many good and meaningful things my parents taught me. While I always knew I loved them and maintained a good relationship, I now was ready to accept them back into my life in a more accessible way. I wanted to live near them, and raise my children where they could know and love their grandparents.
Quinn went back to work for the architecture firm in town that he had worked for on summer breaks from college before we were married. I found a great job working for as the Department Secretary in Redding Medical Center's Cardiac Rehab Department. After being there for several months, the hospital, and the Cardiac Department in particular, started having difficulties. Cutbacks were made and hours reduced. To help keep up my hours, I began assisting the director of the then newly implemented Bariatric Surgery Department at RMC. After being back in Redding for a short time, we found ourselves buying a home to accommodate our growing family. However, the hospital needed to make more cut backs and I was laid off from my positions at Redding Medical Center. Even though my plan was to work through my pregnancy, I was still able to keep busy by helping teach, plan, and supervise activities with the Young Women (12-18 year old girls) in our church. Our first baby boy (Corbin) was born and I quickly became a stay-at-home-mom. I enjoyed this very much.
I was now changing diapers, going to the park, watching Elmo, teaching children to walk, and practicing so many other aspects of motherhood. I always enjoyed being at home with my children (now 3 of them: Corbin, Eliza, Solomon), but I still wanted to help earn extra income for our family. Over the years I have become a chameleon, changing my job for what would allow me flexibility of working and still taking care of my children full time. I have taught English/Writing Skills to home-schooled children through Modoc Charter School. I became a home based customer service operator for major companies like ShopNBC and TimeLIFE. Working the night shift at Kohl's department store placing signage was fine until I wore out with exhaustion from working all night and taking care of my kids during the day. There were even times that I worked from home through the internet for Lionbridge rating websites for search engines. I also ventured into entrepreneurship opening my own web-based clothing business. After 2 ½ years I closed the store to try to look for something more consistent.
As if I wasn't busy enough with raising children and working part time, I changed positions in church now working with the Relief Society again, but as the secretary and then later a Counselor (similar to a Vice president) to the President of the organization. Once my children entered school, I also felt a need to participate in their education by volunteering once a week in the classroom. To fulfill a longtime dream of living in a home that my husband designed, I oversaw and managed the construction of a beautiful new home for our family.
With my children growing older and the economy being uncertain, I feel once again that it is important for me to continue my education so I can be more marketable in the career world. I have extremely enjoyed working in the hospital setting in previous employment and would like to become a hospital pharmacy tech. With my family always being my first and most important aspect of my life, I am hoping to work part time until my children are older. I am hoping that because I want to work the “off hours” (evenings and weekends) so I can be at home with my children during the week, I will be able to fill a void where most most people do not want to work.
It is amazing where life takes us. How are decisions can be and are our own. I am constantly amazed at where my decisions have taken me and am excited to find out where I will go next. I have grown to love life more fully as I grow wiser with age. I attribute my happiness to a good sense of self, a devoted husband, a great family and a loving God.
