quiet moments

What do you think about in your quiet moments?

In my quiet moments when Quinn is gone and the kids are in bed and the TV is off, I think of the same thing, over and over.  Like a broken record.  I try and think about other things, but it always comes back to the same thoughts.  I keep repeating in my head the thoughts of struggles past, my previous life, my childhood.  I can't shake the spiteful words from people I love aimed directly to hurt other people I love.  Shot at one another as if  words could piece their hearts.  And they can, and they did.  Only it's as if their sights we mis-aligned and hit me.  I'm not sure that they ever made it to their true targets, but hitting innocent by-standers on the way.  As if shooting a bear would give you venison.

If I am ever to heal these wounds, forgiveness has to come into my heart.  Only through the Atonement of Jesus Christ can true healing occur.  I know this.  I understand this principle.  I have taught it to others.  Somehow I must learn to apply it to myself.