Have I told you about Eliza? My Lizzy LuLu?
Four year old Eliza is beautiful. She only likes "pretty" things. I am occasionally asked why I wear pants, because they are not pretty. Pink, piNK PInk, PiNk, don't forget PINK! Girls are the only creatures that deserve her time. (Unless it's Grandpa. She loves Grandpa, and Sol, and Corbin and Dad. Although she tries to hide her affections from Quinn, but inside she's loving him. She talks about him a lot when he's gone. "Mom, where's dad?" Even though she really does know where he is.) Liz loves animals. Most of her toys that she loves are stuffed animals. She plays with them, talks to them, sleeps with them.
Lizzy is an artist. I am amazed at how well she can express herself through art. She can sit down at the table and color for hours. Quinn talks about how he can't wait to see how her talents develops as she gets older.
She is very shy. Painfully shy around adults. It takes her a very long time to warm up to adults, even those she sees frequently. She is very perceptive. She notices things that I don't realize she is aware of, until she talks about it.
"Mom, what's that smell like?" This is a common phrase, repeated many times each day. Liz has the most sensitive smelling mechanism I have ever encountered. "When will my nose stop smelling?" I feel bad when I have to tell her; Never. I fear for her when someday she is pregnant.
Eliza is my "special girl" and I am her "special girl too" and instead of hugs, she gives "love" because "love is longer".
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Thursday, August 26, 2010
a little about me - 1st pharm tech assignment
Like most people, my life is broken into different parts. Childhood and adulthood. Pre-marriage and after matrimony. Life before children and life during parenthood. As a working woman and as a stay-at-home-mom. So rather than fight it, I'll write within the “parts” of my existence.
Childhood was...challenging, fun, happy and sad. Living out two lives, one with my father's family and one with my mother's family, gave me many opportunities to try and figure out who I was. Learning to be me, was hard. For many years I was one person at Mom's and a different person at Dad's.
Living on a working Apple Ranch in Round Mountain, CA my dad taught me the value of work. From a young age, working in the orchards was expected, and for the most part enjoyed. My dad remarried when I was five, and I inherited a new sister and step-mother. And then a few years later, along came three more brothers, bringing our Brady Bunch family to a total of 7 children; five boys and two girls. Blending us all together to try and make a happy family was...challenging. At times it worked, and we felt united, at other times it was disastrous. Spending 2nd through 5th grade living with my father's family was both rewarding and exhausting.
Upon entering middle school, I transferred homes to live with my mother, in Redding, CA. Here I too learned different lessons that helped shape me into who I am. I went from a tiny mountain community school of 20 per grade, to a large middle school of 300 per grade. Where did I fit in? My mother encouraged me to participate in music and sports, which led to making new friends and soon, enjoying my new independence. For the most part I was now an “only child” (except for when my two older brothers joined me on the weekends and when I spent other weekends and holidays with my dad), which was a far cry from being the middle child of 7. I continued to participate in as many activities as I could; choir, basketball, track and field, and student government were among my favorites. Nearing the end of my middle school years, my mother remarried, along with my new step-father I gained another step brother and sister. Unfortunately it was a union that I did not adjust to well. Through the end of my middle school years and through high school I learned that school was my solace. It was where I could escape. I piled on more activities and sports and learned to spend a lot of time with friends. On the weekends I spent with my father, I worked at the movie theater our family owned in Fall River Mills. I learned to be resilient and independent. I learned to make the best of an unpleasant situation and focus on the good in my life. After a little experimentation I quickly learned, that faith in God and hard work, was a better recipe for changing my circumstances than parties and drugs. My mother divorced her second husband. End of sob story.
I graduated from high school and spent a year at Shasta College taking a little of this and that, not knowing what I wanted to do or become. I spent a lot of time at school, working various jobs (restaurant, elderly care and childcare) and spending time with my friends, most of whom I met through church and the Institute of Religion near the college. Shortly after starting college I was introduced to an amazing man. We began courting. Even though he lived in Arizona where he attended Arizona State University, we managed a long distance relationship.
At 18 years old, I married Quinn Lowry and moved with him to Arizona where we both attended school. I attended Mesa Community College and he continued at ASU. Finally my life was quiet. My husband and I could live how we believed with out the “noise” of my childhood. Moving a far distance from my childhood family gave me time to focus on my new little family. I worked during the day as an office manager for an architecture firm in Scottsdale, AZ and went to school at night. On Sundays I taught Sunday School lessons young children at church. After about two years in the Phoenix area, Quinn graduated, and we moved to Salt Lake City, UT where he was accepted into the University of Utah's Graduate School of Architecture. We lived on campus in the old, run-down married student housing. We both searched for work and I soon found a fantastic job at the University of Utah Hospital where I worked as the Executive Secretary for the Operating Room Department. Doing payroll, HR, organizing events and getting to know the 130 employees in our department was a treat. I also enjoyed being in the hospital environment working with all different people with one common purpose; to provide excellent care to each and every patient. Along with working at the UofU I taught lessons to the Relief Society (women's organization) once a month at church. I also enrolled in community based classes, taking guitar lessons, floral arrangement and cake decorating. We had decided that because we were now living in a new state and paying out of state tuition, that I would put my schooling on hold while Quinn finished his masters degree. We grew to love the Salt Lake Valley and all the other couples and families that lived in student housing with us.
Two years past and we left Salt Lake City and headed home to Redding, CA. Having spent several years away from my family, I learned to value them and appreciate the many good and meaningful things my parents taught me. While I always knew I loved them and maintained a good relationship, I now was ready to accept them back into my life in a more accessible way. I wanted to live near them, and raise my children where they could know and love their grandparents.
Quinn went back to work for the architecture firm in town that he had worked for on summer breaks from college before we were married. I found a great job working for as the Department Secretary in Redding Medical Center's Cardiac Rehab Department. After being there for several months, the hospital, and the Cardiac Department in particular, started having difficulties. Cutbacks were made and hours reduced. To help keep up my hours, I began assisting the director of the then newly implemented Bariatric Surgery Department at RMC. After being back in Redding for a short time, we found ourselves buying a home to accommodate our growing family. However, the hospital needed to make more cut backs and I was laid off from my positions at Redding Medical Center. Even though my plan was to work through my pregnancy, I was still able to keep busy by helping teach, plan, and supervise activities with the Young Women (12-18 year old girls) in our church. Our first baby boy (Corbin) was born and I quickly became a stay-at-home-mom. I enjoyed this very much.
I was now changing diapers, going to the park, watching Elmo, teaching children to walk, and practicing so many other aspects of motherhood. I always enjoyed being at home with my children (now 3 of them: Corbin, Eliza, Solomon), but I still wanted to help earn extra income for our family. Over the years I have become a chameleon, changing my job for what would allow me flexibility of working and still taking care of my children full time. I have taught English/Writing Skills to home-schooled children through Modoc Charter School. I became a home based customer service operator for major companies like ShopNBC and TimeLIFE. Working the night shift at Kohl's department store placing signage was fine until I wore out with exhaustion from working all night and taking care of my kids during the day. There were even times that I worked from home through the internet for Lionbridge rating websites for search engines. I also ventured into entrepreneurship opening my own web-based clothing business. After 2 ½ years I closed the store to try to look for something more consistent.
As if I wasn't busy enough with raising children and working part time, I changed positions in church now working with the Relief Society again, but as the secretary and then later a Counselor (similar to a Vice president) to the President of the organization. Once my children entered school, I also felt a need to participate in their education by volunteering once a week in the classroom. To fulfill a longtime dream of living in a home that my husband designed, I oversaw and managed the construction of a beautiful new home for our family.
With my children growing older and the economy being uncertain, I feel once again that it is important for me to continue my education so I can be more marketable in the career world. I have extremely enjoyed working in the hospital setting in previous employment and would like to become a hospital pharmacy tech. With my family always being my first and most important aspect of my life, I am hoping to work part time until my children are older. I am hoping that because I want to work the “off hours” (evenings and weekends) so I can be at home with my children during the week, I will be able to fill a void where most most people do not want to work.
It is amazing where life takes us. How are decisions can be and are our own. I am constantly amazed at where my decisions have taken me and am excited to find out where I will go next. I have grown to love life more fully as I grow wiser with age. I attribute my happiness to a good sense of self, a devoted husband, a great family and a loving God.
Childhood was...challenging, fun, happy and sad. Living out two lives, one with my father's family and one with my mother's family, gave me many opportunities to try and figure out who I was. Learning to be me, was hard. For many years I was one person at Mom's and a different person at Dad's.
Living on a working Apple Ranch in Round Mountain, CA my dad taught me the value of work. From a young age, working in the orchards was expected, and for the most part enjoyed. My dad remarried when I was five, and I inherited a new sister and step-mother. And then a few years later, along came three more brothers, bringing our Brady Bunch family to a total of 7 children; five boys and two girls. Blending us all together to try and make a happy family was...challenging. At times it worked, and we felt united, at other times it was disastrous. Spending 2nd through 5th grade living with my father's family was both rewarding and exhausting.
Upon entering middle school, I transferred homes to live with my mother, in Redding, CA. Here I too learned different lessons that helped shape me into who I am. I went from a tiny mountain community school of 20 per grade, to a large middle school of 300 per grade. Where did I fit in? My mother encouraged me to participate in music and sports, which led to making new friends and soon, enjoying my new independence. For the most part I was now an “only child” (except for when my two older brothers joined me on the weekends and when I spent other weekends and holidays with my dad), which was a far cry from being the middle child of 7. I continued to participate in as many activities as I could; choir, basketball, track and field, and student government were among my favorites. Nearing the end of my middle school years, my mother remarried, along with my new step-father I gained another step brother and sister. Unfortunately it was a union that I did not adjust to well. Through the end of my middle school years and through high school I learned that school was my solace. It was where I could escape. I piled on more activities and sports and learned to spend a lot of time with friends. On the weekends I spent with my father, I worked at the movie theater our family owned in Fall River Mills. I learned to be resilient and independent. I learned to make the best of an unpleasant situation and focus on the good in my life. After a little experimentation I quickly learned, that faith in God and hard work, was a better recipe for changing my circumstances than parties and drugs. My mother divorced her second husband. End of sob story.
I graduated from high school and spent a year at Shasta College taking a little of this and that, not knowing what I wanted to do or become. I spent a lot of time at school, working various jobs (restaurant, elderly care and childcare) and spending time with my friends, most of whom I met through church and the Institute of Religion near the college. Shortly after starting college I was introduced to an amazing man. We began courting. Even though he lived in Arizona where he attended Arizona State University, we managed a long distance relationship.
At 18 years old, I married Quinn Lowry and moved with him to Arizona where we both attended school. I attended Mesa Community College and he continued at ASU. Finally my life was quiet. My husband and I could live how we believed with out the “noise” of my childhood. Moving a far distance from my childhood family gave me time to focus on my new little family. I worked during the day as an office manager for an architecture firm in Scottsdale, AZ and went to school at night. On Sundays I taught Sunday School lessons young children at church. After about two years in the Phoenix area, Quinn graduated, and we moved to Salt Lake City, UT where he was accepted into the University of Utah's Graduate School of Architecture. We lived on campus in the old, run-down married student housing. We both searched for work and I soon found a fantastic job at the University of Utah Hospital where I worked as the Executive Secretary for the Operating Room Department. Doing payroll, HR, organizing events and getting to know the 130 employees in our department was a treat. I also enjoyed being in the hospital environment working with all different people with one common purpose; to provide excellent care to each and every patient. Along with working at the UofU I taught lessons to the Relief Society (women's organization) once a month at church. I also enrolled in community based classes, taking guitar lessons, floral arrangement and cake decorating. We had decided that because we were now living in a new state and paying out of state tuition, that I would put my schooling on hold while Quinn finished his masters degree. We grew to love the Salt Lake Valley and all the other couples and families that lived in student housing with us.
Two years past and we left Salt Lake City and headed home to Redding, CA. Having spent several years away from my family, I learned to value them and appreciate the many good and meaningful things my parents taught me. While I always knew I loved them and maintained a good relationship, I now was ready to accept them back into my life in a more accessible way. I wanted to live near them, and raise my children where they could know and love their grandparents.
Quinn went back to work for the architecture firm in town that he had worked for on summer breaks from college before we were married. I found a great job working for as the Department Secretary in Redding Medical Center's Cardiac Rehab Department. After being there for several months, the hospital, and the Cardiac Department in particular, started having difficulties. Cutbacks were made and hours reduced. To help keep up my hours, I began assisting the director of the then newly implemented Bariatric Surgery Department at RMC. After being back in Redding for a short time, we found ourselves buying a home to accommodate our growing family. However, the hospital needed to make more cut backs and I was laid off from my positions at Redding Medical Center. Even though my plan was to work through my pregnancy, I was still able to keep busy by helping teach, plan, and supervise activities with the Young Women (12-18 year old girls) in our church. Our first baby boy (Corbin) was born and I quickly became a stay-at-home-mom. I enjoyed this very much.
I was now changing diapers, going to the park, watching Elmo, teaching children to walk, and practicing so many other aspects of motherhood. I always enjoyed being at home with my children (now 3 of them: Corbin, Eliza, Solomon), but I still wanted to help earn extra income for our family. Over the years I have become a chameleon, changing my job for what would allow me flexibility of working and still taking care of my children full time. I have taught English/Writing Skills to home-schooled children through Modoc Charter School. I became a home based customer service operator for major companies like ShopNBC and TimeLIFE. Working the night shift at Kohl's department store placing signage was fine until I wore out with exhaustion from working all night and taking care of my kids during the day. There were even times that I worked from home through the internet for Lionbridge rating websites for search engines. I also ventured into entrepreneurship opening my own web-based clothing business. After 2 ½ years I closed the store to try to look for something more consistent.
As if I wasn't busy enough with raising children and working part time, I changed positions in church now working with the Relief Society again, but as the secretary and then later a Counselor (similar to a Vice president) to the President of the organization. Once my children entered school, I also felt a need to participate in their education by volunteering once a week in the classroom. To fulfill a longtime dream of living in a home that my husband designed, I oversaw and managed the construction of a beautiful new home for our family.
With my children growing older and the economy being uncertain, I feel once again that it is important for me to continue my education so I can be more marketable in the career world. I have extremely enjoyed working in the hospital setting in previous employment and would like to become a hospital pharmacy tech. With my family always being my first and most important aspect of my life, I am hoping to work part time until my children are older. I am hoping that because I want to work the “off hours” (evenings and weekends) so I can be at home with my children during the week, I will be able to fill a void where most most people do not want to work.
It is amazing where life takes us. How are decisions can be and are our own. I am constantly amazed at where my decisions have taken me and am excited to find out where I will go next. I have grown to love life more fully as I grow wiser with age. I attribute my happiness to a good sense of self, a devoted husband, a great family and a loving God.
Monday, August 23, 2010
busy-ness
What a weekend! I started school, the kids had their first soccer games, Becky and the kids came to visit, a trip to the ER with Sol after I slammed his foot in the van door (I still have much guilt, but thankfully it's not broken), dinner with good friends, and Quinn was called to be a counselor in the bishopric of our ward. Which also means he will be ordained a high priest. All of these things (aside from the ER trip) were good productive things.
Quinn is worried about being in the bishopric. I think he will do great. Isn't it funny how we always doubt ourselves, but can see all the good in others? He's wonders why he was called when there are so many other people in the ward that could fill that position. But he is a good man, trying hard to do what is right. He has a testimony of the gospel. Isn't that what matters? The only thing I worry about is having 3 kids by myself in Sacrament meeting, while Quinn watches from the stand. Hmmm...maybe I can get a young woman to sit with us. The kids love Adalie. I think I'll ask her.
It seems like every minute of every day is filling up. I'd better get to it.
Quinn is worried about being in the bishopric. I think he will do great. Isn't it funny how we always doubt ourselves, but can see all the good in others? He's wonders why he was called when there are so many other people in the ward that could fill that position. But he is a good man, trying hard to do what is right. He has a testimony of the gospel. Isn't that what matters? The only thing I worry about is having 3 kids by myself in Sacrament meeting, while Quinn watches from the stand. Hmmm...maybe I can get a young woman to sit with us. The kids love Adalie. I think I'll ask her.
It seems like every minute of every day is filling up. I'd better get to it.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
the world goes round
I am here. The world is still going round, and I am not the center of it. I suppose I knew it would, but sometimes I get caught up in what I am doing, not doing, missing, etc. I started my first day of school. And without me, Corbin and Eliza both had their first soccer games of the season (Eliza's being her first game of all time!). Quinn should get the soccer dad award with two soccer games with the players and a toddler in tow. He even brought the team snack. Without complaint. He really is an amazing father. I looked at the clock and sent a little good luck wish to each of them when then their games started, as I sat in a sterile classroom with 22 other students who were missing their own "soccer games".
The professor let us out early so I got to come home and spend the afternoon with my family! For that I am truly grateful.
The professor let us out early so I got to come home and spend the afternoon with my family! For that I am truly grateful.
Friday, August 13, 2010
meet & greet
Today was meet and greet (the teacher) at Corbin's school. I can hardly believe he is in the 2nd grade. How did this happen? How did he get to be so tall, and how at not quite 7 years old, is his foot almost as big as mine? Probably because he eats constantly, yet he is so slim. Why can't I have that kind of matabolism?
10 things to know about 6 year old Corbin...
10. He is a Hotwheels fanatic
9. He is a die-hard rule follower
8. His voice has two volume levels: Loud and Extremely loud
7. Corbin is the youngest in his grade, but academically resides at the top (SO SMART!)
6. Is a wonderful big brother, so helpful!
5. Knows all superheroes names, powers and costumes, but Batman is his favorite
4. Has a generous heart
3. Is a devoted friend
2. Cannot sit still for even 5 seconds
1. Is a sweet boy, who always tries to do what is right
Just a few of the countless reasons he fills my heart with joy.
10 things to know about 6 year old Corbin...
10. He is a Hotwheels fanatic
9. He is a die-hard rule follower
8. His voice has two volume levels: Loud and Extremely loud
7. Corbin is the youngest in his grade, but academically resides at the top (SO SMART!)
6. Is a wonderful big brother, so helpful!
5. Knows all superheroes names, powers and costumes, but Batman is his favorite
4. Has a generous heart
3. Is a devoted friend
2. Cannot sit still for even 5 seconds
1. Is a sweet boy, who always tries to do what is right
Just a few of the countless reasons he fills my heart with joy.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
don't scare me
For a brief moment today, I thought Sol was lost. I thought he was with Q and, he thought I knew Sol was outside. After we circled the house and could not find our 21 month old son, I started to panic. Turns out he was in his sister's room with the door shut.
I can't get that panic feeling out of my heart. My mind knows that he his safe, but part of me still has that panic inside. I suppose I always have a little of that inside me. That's what mother's do, we worry. I now appreciate or at least understand why my mother worried all the time. She made us wear bike helmets long before it was the norm. I have inhereted this from her. A gene that passed on to make me a worry stricken parent. I know I should relax but, I can't. The worry is part of me.
My children are everything. Without my family I would be lost. I get glimpses of what the love of Christ is like when I feel how much I love my children. The life giving kind of love.
I can't get that panic feeling out of my heart. My mind knows that he his safe, but part of me still has that panic inside. I suppose I always have a little of that inside me. That's what mother's do, we worry. I now appreciate or at least understand why my mother worried all the time. She made us wear bike helmets long before it was the norm. I have inhereted this from her. A gene that passed on to make me a worry stricken parent. I know I should relax but, I can't. The worry is part of me.
My children are everything. Without my family I would be lost. I get glimpses of what the love of Christ is like when I feel how much I love my children. The life giving kind of love.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
12 years
Q and I had our 12 year wedding anniversary on Friday. 12 years. Wow. It doesn't seem like that long, yet when I think about all that has happened since we've been married, I am amazed. Lived in 3 states, 4 years of college, 3 beautiful kids, owned 2 houses, etc, etc.
I really could not imagine myself married to anyone else. I have often thought about what it would be like to be married to one of my old boyfriends. All I can say is that when I do think about it, I get a little shiver and thank God for my husband. He is amazing. The funny thing is that I never grow tired of him. I always want to be with him and always want to have him around.
We never make a big deal of our anniversary. But the kids spent the night at Granna and Grandpa Mac's house and we went to dinner and then came home. No presents, not this year, our pocketbook doesn't support them. But I don't need anything, I have everything I need; love. Cheesy I know, but true.
Happy birthday Quinn. I love you.
I really could not imagine myself married to anyone else. I have often thought about what it would be like to be married to one of my old boyfriends. All I can say is that when I do think about it, I get a little shiver and thank God for my husband. He is amazing. The funny thing is that I never grow tired of him. I always want to be with him and always want to have him around.
We never make a big deal of our anniversary. But the kids spent the night at Granna and Grandpa Mac's house and we went to dinner and then came home. No presents, not this year, our pocketbook doesn't support them. But I don't need anything, I have everything I need; love. Cheesy I know, but true.
Happy birthday Quinn. I love you.
Sunday, August 1, 2010
great day
Today was a great day.
We sat with Liz and Corbin and showed them our wedding album. We talked about how they weren't there because they were still in Heaven. Yes, Brooklyn and Kenzie (cousins - whose mom was in our pictures) were there with you too. It was great to show them everyone 12 years ago. Yes, mom and dad were a little thinner then. No it's not icky that mom and dad are kissing.
Next scriptures, family prayer and bedtime routine. After the big kids woke up their sleeping brother with their loud stomps, talking and slamming of bathroom drawers we had a physical exercise of how to be quiet. "Corbin, show me how to close the drawer quitely." "Lizzy, show me how to walk quietly down the hall"...etc, etc. They thought it was funny.
Later Q and I were laying close in bed. Q asks if I will still love him when he is completely broken. Of course, I say. Will you still love me when I wear grandma shoes at age 35 because my bunions hurt so bad and have a hunchback from my lazy shoulder. He replies, "I get turned on just thinking about it." Ha Ha. But seriously, I will, and he will and that is true love.
But I guess we were lying a little too close because I started pointing out his long eyebrow hairs and he said, 'will you still love me with bushy eyebrows and ear hair?" I love bushy eyebrows and earhair. "Oh yes," he says, "because you see ear hair and think 'that is hot' ". Much laughter follows. And then one more, "I'm sorry I'm not who you thought you married." What do you mean? "I don't look the same as the wedding pictures." And then we laugh some more. Because neither of us look like we did in our wedding pictures. But in reality I don't notice the ear hair, I love the gray hair and all I see is the man I fell in love with. And I love him more now than I did that day in those pictures.
We sat with Liz and Corbin and showed them our wedding album. We talked about how they weren't there because they were still in Heaven. Yes, Brooklyn and Kenzie (cousins - whose mom was in our pictures) were there with you too. It was great to show them everyone 12 years ago. Yes, mom and dad were a little thinner then. No it's not icky that mom and dad are kissing.
Next scriptures, family prayer and bedtime routine. After the big kids woke up their sleeping brother with their loud stomps, talking and slamming of bathroom drawers we had a physical exercise of how to be quiet. "Corbin, show me how to close the drawer quitely." "Lizzy, show me how to walk quietly down the hall"...etc, etc. They thought it was funny.
Later Q and I were laying close in bed. Q asks if I will still love him when he is completely broken. Of course, I say. Will you still love me when I wear grandma shoes at age 35 because my bunions hurt so bad and have a hunchback from my lazy shoulder. He replies, "I get turned on just thinking about it." Ha Ha. But seriously, I will, and he will and that is true love.
But I guess we were lying a little too close because I started pointing out his long eyebrow hairs and he said, 'will you still love me with bushy eyebrows and ear hair?" I love bushy eyebrows and earhair. "Oh yes," he says, "because you see ear hair and think 'that is hot' ". Much laughter follows. And then one more, "I'm sorry I'm not who you thought you married." What do you mean? "I don't look the same as the wedding pictures." And then we laugh some more. Because neither of us look like we did in our wedding pictures. But in reality I don't notice the ear hair, I love the gray hair and all I see is the man I fell in love with. And I love him more now than I did that day in those pictures.
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